There's something wrong with my cat. When I got home tonight his front right paw kept turning over when he walked. It's still doing it. It's like when your foot falls asleep but you don't realize until you try to stand on it and it turns when you put your weight on it. He's pretty much walking on the top of his foot.

I hope it's something not too terribly serious, like maybe he landed the wrong way when he jumped off a counter. He's not that young anymore. But I'm worried because about a month or so ago he was walking across the living room, stopped, wailed this scary deep-throated howl while he drooled all over the floor, then collapsed. He got up immediately and walked away after about thirty seconds but he seemed fine. He went straight to his food bowl, jumped onto the bathroom counter for water, and carried on as usual.

My mom things he's been having a series of strokes but I checked the symptoms online and I don't think that's the problem. When cats have strokes they drool, walk in circles to the right and lose control of their hind ends. Sometimes their heads will tilt to the right as well. If it's a really bad stroke they'll mess where they lie. The only symptom George has is drooling, and that's pretty normal for him.

Anyway, I'm doubting the landing wrong or falling idea because he doesn't seem to be in any pain. He'll walk half way across the room looking confused as to wy he's having problems. He's not shaking his foot at all. He let me touch it and move it and then shook my hand away. If he was in pain he would have bolted, or tried to. He even gets his butt high in the air when I scratch the base of his tail. He's purring. He's eating. He's still jumping on and off the counter. But his foot... It's like the cobbling scene in Misery; that's what his foot looks like when he walks.

If there was a market for mucus I would be rich.

I wish I wasn't sick.

A legitimate request: "Bush's Chicken in Dallas, Texas."

What I heard: "Bush is chicken in Dallas, Texas."

There's nothing quite so wonderful as being seated not only in full view of the wait to be seated area but almost the entire front entrance of the mall when your "charming" son stands up in the booth, pulls his thing out, and announces to everyone, "See my big penis? My love my big penis!"

I'm looking forward to my days off next week. I'm not going to answer any calls from work because there's no way I'm letting them talk me into working. It seems I spend all my time there already. I didn't expect to catch on to the job this fast. Five days of intense training with exams that must be passed or the job is lost is kind of intimidating and getting thrown into it right away and then learning there are much quicker tricks than those learned in training is disappointing. First I was scared, then I felt efficient, now I'm bored.

My daughter was a princess tonight.